Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.
~ Johnny Depp
Lately, life has been feeling a little busy.
For a while, I wasn’t writing at all. I felt burnt out and stuck in what I can only describe as task paralysis — that feeling where you’re so anxious about something you need to do that you just… don’t do it.
But as the weather has started to warm up again, I’ve felt something shift. My seasonal depression symptoms have been easing, and while I still feel anxious — especially about internship things and my future — I’ve realized I’ve built up more tools than I used to have.
And honestly, those tools are starting to make a difference.
A lot of that has come through small, everyday things.
Deleting Instagram completely changed what my days look like. I spend a lot less time lounging and a lot more time actually doing. I’ve been going to the gym regularly, and I reward myself with a tan after (thank you, Planet Fitness black card). I listen to audiobooks and Christian music — and ever since my missions trip, I’ve been especially into Hawaiian worship songs.
I’ve also been leaning into hobbies. I’ve been doing skincare, learning how to do my own nails, and picking up little creative projects like embroidery and punch knitting. I journal here, and I’ve realized how much I actually enjoy writing when it doesn’t feel like pressure.
The only social media I really use now is Pinterest and Snapchat. Do I still scroll sometimes? Yes. But it’s nothing like before. It doesn’t take over my whole day anymore.
I’ve also been enjoying simple things — like watching Bridgerton (skipping the spicy scenes because of personal conviction 😌), getting dinner with friends, and just being around people who feel easy to be with.
These small activities keep me off my bed and bring actual joy into my life.
I’ve found a lot of fulfillment in serving with my church’s youth group. I have a loving boyfriend who has been incredibly supportive of my mental health journey and someone I’m genuinely growing with. My family has been such a steady support system, especially as I start preparing for my gap year.
Life is still hard.
But it’s also really good.
And I think I’m finally starting to feel that at the same time.
I feel like I’m just now getting the hang of college — of course, two months before I graduate. But honestly?
Better late than never.
Love ya,
Audrey 🤍
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